Lessons in Positivity and Insightfulness

"Rather than looking for all the things that are wrong with people, remember their good qualities, and when the opportunity arises, praise them."

I've come to realize that there are many people in this world who are negative. Whether this be toward themselves or toward others, it affects the people around them. There are some very good resources in learning how to be more positive and how to deflect the negativity that other people project. One website I've found that has some great ideas on this topic is this website. Not only do they cover general negativity but also how to deal with it in the workplace, which I find very helpful. Sometimes the confidence that people see in a person will automatically deflect personal negative attacks on that person. In other words, how we carry ourselves and how people perceive us, will determine how we will be treated. But also, we need to look at ourselves to insure that we are not creating more problems and more negativity beforehand unseen in ourselves.

A podcast i recently listened to called "Create the Life you Like:Dealing with People's Negativity," was very insightful. Although it does have some religious undertones, it was mostly just a very descriptive podcast about dealing with everyday situations that include negativity. One of the greatest tidbits of information I gleaned concerned how to respond when someone points out a flaw in you. The allegory he used was a person pointing out a scratch on your car. You see the scratch, you perhaps thank the person, and then determine what you are going to do about the flaw in your car. However, when someone does the same thing, points out a "scratch", this time in your personality or actions, how do you respond? Do you simply say thanks and determine how to fix it? Mostly, no. Most people (myself included) tend to combat the comment in someway. Perhaps you deny it, or chalk it up to a situation that happened, or blame it on another person's actions. Next time someone points out one of your "scratches", try reacting calmly with a "thank you, I'll consider what you have told me" and then really do that.

One thing I realize that I need to work on is criticism vs constructive criticism and how to approach people when things need to be changed. This article gives a very good outline on a good approach to help someone understand that there may be an issue with what they are doing, why you think that, and what would make the issue better. This technique applies in every life situation. The one thing it doesn't give much information on, is the tone of voice and forcefulness of how the information should be given out. Tone of voice and perceived criticism from the listener (perceived not to be constructive) are goals I know I can work on.I am perpetuating a negative environment simply by approaching situations wrongly and sometimes not knowing when to leave things alone. The old cliche rings true: I need to choose my battles.

My husband is currently reading/listening to a book called "What got you here won't get you there." Last night he had the audiobook on without the headphones and I got a chance to listen to a small portion of the book. I'm excited to listen to the rest of the book as the portion I heard was very informative. One concept that stood out to me was how to really  listen to someone when they speak. As a dispatcher, I am used to listening to many things at once and just getting the "bare bones" of what is being said in order to do my job. The authors expounded on the importance of being able to listen to someone so intently that they feel they are the most important person in the room and that anything they say will be listened to and accepted. One very important part about this type of listening is NOT interjecting your own person allegories, beliefs, ideas, etc. into the conversation any time you get a chance, and to NOT be formulating your next "speech" as the other person is talking. LISTEN and see what you can learn from that person without trying to make yourself sound/look/feel good. This will earn you respect from that other person and is a interpersonal communication skill that everyone should use. Oprah Winfrey and Bill Clinton are cited as being extremely good at this technique. The book also explains that everyone already knows how to do this. Examples include a first date where you are trying to behave your best, present your best self to the other person, or when you are in a meeting with your boss. You become attentive to everything the other person is saying and truly make them feel as if they are the most important person in the room. Ring true? I thought so, and I definitely have a tendency to jump in on any conversation with MY thoughts and MY feelings instead of listening for the intent of LISTENING and RESPECTING others. In other words, listen without being selfish.

I look forward to continuing to grow up and learn more about actions and attitudes in myself and those around me. 

Fungal Invaders!

I looked out at the garden yesterday and wondered why there were large clumps of dirt on top of my flower garden bed. Today I went out to water my Larkspur seeds and discovered a nasty infestation of mushrooms growing. This is one of the piles dug up:

Where did they come from and how do I prevent them from coming back??

 Is it the old tree stumps?

Somebody help!

In other garden news, I trimmed up my rose bushes and they are started to bud and turn a pretty shade of green:

You like my one instance of pretty yellow flowers that previous owners planted?

First Garden Post

I decided to do a garden this year. I have a raised bed island for flowers in the front yard which I'll take pictures of later. I'm planting a lot of my own seeds and I've had Brett help me build a raised vegetable box for the backyard.

Here's my kitchen window sill herb garden: (yes it snowed today)

 I'm regrowing green onions that I got from the store then used the top part of. All you do is put them in water and they grow like a weed.

You can also regrow celery that you buy at the store. When I first planted this used stock it was almost flush with the dirt. This is about a month later:

 My parsley is just doing okay. I figured out recently that I've been over watering the poor things and that's why they are so wimpy.

 Above is my dill in the same state and below is my mint, which is doing great.

 I just moved the aloe plant back to this window yesterday when I noticed the shoots turning brownish. That means they were getting too much light in the other location.

 Here is the basil I've managed to keep alive for a while now.

 

I bought a four foot grow light on Amazon and here are my little seed trays below.

 Below I have jalapeno, red pepper and tomato seedlings growing.

 I'm proud of this seed pot creation. I had read that you can do seeds in an egg carton but also read that it was too shallow for many seeds. So I saved paper rolls and stuffed them into the egg carton holes and voila! In here are broccoli, rose mallow, cucumbers, and columbine flowers growing.

  Here is a Cafe Rio tin and some homemade newspaper seed pots with more tomato and jalapeno plants inside. And of course the monster tomato plant that I already had to transplant. I'm really hoping that one makes it.

 

 Big Roma!

 Please Live!

 

I also just planted Nasturtiums, Lavender, and Impatiens in old plastic packaging with a lid and some more of those nifty newspaper seed pots.

Outside I've got some more seeds growing. In this hanging basket are mesclun seeds (like a spring mix).

 And in here some butter crunch lettuce.

 Spinach in this makeshift plastic container.

 I bought two rubbermaid containers. I haven't decided what is going in there yet.

 Here are some milk/water jugs that I'm "Winter Sowing" in. You plant seeds in them over winter and they act as little green houses.

 What's growing in these? Purple Coneflowers, Zinnias, Shasta Daisies, and Four O'Clocks for the front island raised bed.

And then of course this baby! A 2X8 foot redwood raised box for square foot gardening.

I've never done any of this before so it's all an experiment but so far it has been really fun.  Wish me luck!

Aquarium and a bit of Roatan.

Wondering what happened to me and blogging? Wondering if those summer bulbs ever bloomed? I'm alive and well and the bulbs bloomed! I've taken on a new hobby this year - gardening - which I'll get to in the next post.

In the mean time, Brett started a salt water aquarium a while back so I thought I'd post a few pictures of the coral and other life in the tank. Here's your full shot view:

This is mainly a reef tank meaning lots of corals and very few fish. It's just getting started so many of the spaces are unfilled and many of the corals are small and growing.

We have 3 fish right now - 2 Clown fish and 1 fire fish. The species of Fire Fish has a nick name which is a Dart Fish because they tend to dart around the tank. This made it difficult to get a picture of him. The 2 clown fish, on the other hand, were following me around the tank and I ended up having to crop them out of a few pictures. Silly friendly things they are. I call the black one with the orange face "Lil' B" for Little Bruno. See the resemblance?

 

Another little friendly guy is this one:

 He's a Conch (Pronounced  "CONK")

See his funny little eyeballs and long snout? He uses his snout to eat but also to propel himself at amazing speeds around the tank.

Speaking of Conch's, we ate one in Roatan, Honduras where we went on vacation back in February. Roatan is a small Island in the Caribbean where Conch's are plentiful (and much larger than this one). Here are a few fun pictures of a conch shells and that trip:

Our friends Amy and Chad went with us.

We had lots of fun in the warm weather.

 Out tanning

 At Herbie's (our favorite restaurant there).

 Together.

 

This is the house we rented for the week. See that awesome open area deck there at the top? We spent a lot of time up there.

 In the hammocks especially.

  We went to the Western part of the island a few days to enjoy the amazing snorkeling and beautiful beaches and cheap alcohol.

 This wore me out...

 And right after this sleeping picture was taken on the way home, we had to to stop because there was a cow in the middle of the road and the owner chasing after it on foot:

 

See the guy on the left in the blue shirt running?

 Hehe, and the windshield is another story. Suffice it to say we got a discount on the rental.

And I was tired on the airplane ride home too.

 But wide awake back in the states in Houston.

We had lots of fun.

Oh you wanted to see more pictures of the aquarium? No prob.

 Here's a crab:

 This is a new addition to the tank, pretty neat huh?

 The next two pictures are of the Frog Spawn. (See the silly clown fish? He wanted to be in the picture too!)

 Frog Spawn:

 This little guy was difficult to get a picture of because he is so small and far away from the glass:

 Really neat though:

 Pretty yeah? Called an Acan.

 Below is a plate coral that is growing nicely.

 Oh there's the fire fish! See him in the back? That thing on the sand closest in the picture is a clam. Further back in the middle of the tank are two Welsos that puff up nicely each day.

There are lots of other little things in the tank but the moving water made it difficult to capture some of them. Maybe another time.

Hope you enjoyed the aquarium tour and a bit of Roatan.